p-special! Kwame K!

Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick pleaded guilty to felony charges on Thursday and agreed to resign from office and serve 120 days in jail, ending eight months of political turmoil but also opening a new era of uncertainty for the city. He also agreed to pay the city $1 million in restitution. [rolling my eyes, sigh]

pimps up, Kwame's down. tsk tsk tsk.
OK - there are so so so many things wrong with this guy. In no particular order:
1. Let's start with that Steve Harvey suit... ewwwwwww! He probably put on those wide leg paints, looked in the mirror, pointed at himself and winked before putting that pimp hat on!!!! ewwwwwww! I have $10 on him having some wing tipped gators on as shoes.
2. The wife stood by his side: Kilpatrick used $8,600 from his secret Kilpatrick Civic Fund to take his wife, three sons and babysitter on a week long vacation to a a five-star California resort, the La Costa Resort and Spa. The fund, controlled by Kilpatrick's sister and friends, was created to improve the city of Detroit through voter education, economic empowerment and crime prevention.
3. No wonder his wife hasn't left his ass. Don't you wonder why these wives stand by their man after they have dragged the family name through the mud AND embarressed the socks off of them at the same time. True - I'm not married, but this ish, I won't put up with; I guess the perks were too good for these women.
4. Why in the hell is he America's first "Hip Hop Mayor" !!! What in the freaking hell! Calling Bill Cosby, calling Bill Cosby! Help!
5. WTF: Eminem has referenced Kilpatrick in late rapper Proof's song "Pimplikeness" in the lyric "Toss a b*tch out the house like Kwame Kilpatrick"
6. If I find ONE freaking picture of people standing outside the courthouse with signs saying "Free Kwame!" like they did for R. Kelly - I'm personally driving to Detroit to wake these MFs up!
7. NO HE DID NOT SAY THIS!: "We fall, but this city always gets up. I want to tell you Detroit, you've done set me up for a comeback" [Applause]. Then he went directly to jail. This guy is smoking crack - HELP HELP HELP!
8. Text messaging your Trollop on a freaking public phone! Help him somebody! This man needs to also check into an asylum! He's a freaking whack job!
9. I think we should collect money and send this guy a "Prayer Package." I mean, you never know.
10. Let's send up a special one for all those who abuse power once it's gained. Seriously - Detroit is a city that could use a lot of improvement, it's a shame they had someone like Kilpatrick to contribute to destroying a city with such rich history.


RiPPa September 7, 2008 at 9:17 PM  

Hey doesn't write rhymes, he writes texts.

That is as hip hop as it gets...

MP September 8, 2008 at 10:41 AM  

LOL His suit is a midwest special!

Mintsavvy.com September 9, 2008 at 4:14 PM  

lol Gators and all....but on the real though....Detroit can do better.

urbanknitrix September 11, 2008 at 6:48 AM  

Too funny!! Love the post. I am married and I am NOT having it. Too much dignity, how in the hell do you hold your head up in front of your girlfriends, family and kids. Not gonna do it.....unless I get that big rock like Kobe gave Vanessa.

He had so much promise and hope and all of that is going right down the drain. They took his license for 5 years, so you know his wife will be out the door next.

Oh and text messaging your boo. I just don't get it - how many relationships, marriage or otherwise been broken up over text messages and myspace.

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