12.01.2008

Quarterlife Crisis?

Ok, admission: I think I'm going through a quarter-life crisis. First of all, I'm feeling completely unfulfilled at work. On paper I'm doing well, but at the end of the day, the job is just unfulfilling and stressful. So what do I want to do? I have no idea. My passion is helping children through education. But teachers don't get paid nearly enough for me to even consider a career change. So today I decided to work from home and apply to some positions at the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation as well as the Oprah (Angel Network) Foundation. Wish me luck. I could really use a change.

Secondly, I think I'm finally getting to the age where I can see myself settling down with a family (*shudder*). Also stressful as I'm not really sure I'm ready. But luckily I don't have to make that decision anytime soon because "he" has not popped the question yet. But just to think of myself tied down with a husband a child makes me feel a bit old. And I don't like it. I don't know, I feel like I should have a bit more direction by now. Like I should've "lived it up" a bit more by now. Hmmm, what to do, what to do...

Oh, lately I've been feeling the need to do a little jet-setting and hit up a couple vacation spots just to escape, but guess what? We're in a damn recession so I should be saving money, right? Ugh. I chose the option a couple years ago (unknowningly) to either A - Buy a House, or B - Have a Life. Unfortunately, I chose A and I feel as though I'm forever tied to bringing in a certain income to pay a mortgage that I really don't need in an area I'm not sure I want to live.

I guess the word "forever" with any aspect of my life is my real fear. To work in a certain profession "forever", to be married to someone "forever", to live in a certain area "forever", to have kids that I have to take care of and love "forever" scares the shit out of me. Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Lord help me...

Now back to watching Fraggle Rock and Reading Rainbow clips on youtube - that always makes me feel better. Peace Buppies.

4 comments:

clnmike December 1, 2008 at 5:40 PM  

Quater life? as in under 30?

Man I wish you could see the evil eye I am shooting you right now.

Well at least your going through it early.

T December 2, 2008 at 7:35 AM  

The option A option B thing is serious and trust me, the grass is always greener. I chose option B and I can't help thinking that I've done my kids a disservice by denying them wealth because I'm throwing money away on my rent, so I can travel as much as I do.

I DON'T EVEN HAVE KIDS YET, or a husband or even a good prospect of anyone who'll make it past a first date.

The quarter-life crisis is real, not imagined... and I feel you.

Shell December 3, 2008 at 3:18 PM  

I feel you on which way you want to life to go. I have to tell you that it doesn't stop. This quarter-life crisis will pop again at different ages. Whatever you choose, go with your heart. Don't go with what you "think" is right.

brightstarr December 5, 2008 at 11:00 PM  

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one going through this. Thanks for the advice Shell. And T, keep your head up girl. ;-)

And clnmike, yea, under 30, lol.

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